Chronicide Online: The Journal

Where I'm At

2008-06-12T01:51:22Z

Looking for me?

I'm here now.

Quick Scan

2007-12-06T19:01:03Z

Read this at lunch today, and it made me laugh:

(Quick context, for those non-comic-readers in my audience: A secret group of heroes calling themselves the Illuminati banished the Incredible Hulk from the earth. He wound up on another planet where he became its king. But when the shuttle that took him there exploded and wiped out the capital city, he came back with his army to get revenge on those heroes.)

It's the panel of the gathered heroes counting out the syllables that really cracks me up.

Sunday Shopping Sights

2007-12-03T19:00:34Z

When we were out shopping yesterday, I came across a couple of things that amused me.

The first was a sign for the Optimist Club Christmas Tree Sale. Although I'm sure it's a wonderful sale full of beautiful trees that would be a nice addition to anyone's home, I couldn't help but imagine a lot full of, well, this:

I'd've stopped to look, but I wanted something shiny and aluminum, thank you very much.

Where we did stop was the new Barnes & Noble that opened near us (nearer than the other Barnes & Noble near us, but not quite as near as the Barnes & Noble really near us).

(On a side note, I have to say that — while it was a lovely store with an excellent graphic novel collection — I'm a little disappointed that we "need," by my count, three Barnes & Nobles within a five-mile radius of each other. Couldn't it at least have been a Borders?)

We only stopped in to the B&N for a minute — there were groceries in our car that needed to make it to a freezer — but Jen saw something, and she drew my attention to it: The Living Green Page-A-Day Calendar. The publisher's description says it has daily tips on

walking more softly on the planet. Tips like forgoing energy-sucking air purifiers for a few air-filtering houseplants. Like drinking organic beer—better for you and the earth. Like conserving water while brushing your teeth (if only 10,000 people turned off the spigot every day for a year, we'd save enough water to grow wheat for 160,000 loaves of bread).

What I can't help but wonder is, is one of those tips not using a page-a-day calendar? I mean, really: is a big pile of papers that you, by necessity, need to dispose of every day in any way a "green" thing?

Don't get me wrong: I love my two Page-A-Day calendars ("Book Lovers" and "Brainteasers, Mind Benders, Puzzlers, Mazes & More"), but I don't fool myself that, in having them, I am in any way being green (except insomuch as I recycle the pages).

You have to wonder if anyone at the Page-A-Day place thought of that...

A Guy and Two Girls Walk Into a Bar...

2007-11-29T20:40:28Z

We made good time from Evanston to Chicago, and were fortunate enough to find parking within a block of our destination — an important thing on a cold, windy Chicago night. We had gone out to eat with several members of Jen's family, but now it was just the three of us: me, Jen and her cousin Jess, just in town for a few days. Jess is one of our favorite people to hang out with, and so we didn't want to send her back to a boring night alone at her hotel after dinner, so Jen suggested we head over to the Green Mill.

We got there around 9:15, got to the door, and the doorman/bouncer/big scary guy stopped us. He explained that there was a show going on and, if we went in now, he'd have to charge us the fifteen dollar admittance. But the show was ending in about half an hour, so he told us if we came back then, we would only have to pay the six dollar cover to hear the jazz band that was performing that night. (Not Kurt Elling, sadly.)

This was reasonable enough, so we agreed, but there was one problem: I had to go to the bathroom. Badly. Fortunately for us, we noticed another bar two doors down, so we headed in there. The place was packed — standing room only — but we didn't care, since all we needed was a place to chill for 30 minutes.

Once we were in there, I didn't waste any time, and made a bee-line straight to the men's room. While I was in there, er, doing my business, I took to reading the flyers on the wall.

"Tuesdays Karaoke Night - Win Free Porn"

Um, wow, that's interesting...

"This Saturday: Hot Jock Competition!"

Uh, wait a second, is this...?

"Every Wednesday: Project: Runway showings!"

Huh? Oh!

I finished up and headed out to the ladies, and apparently they had realized it, too. Jess noticed it first: "Hey, there are a lot of men in here! ...wait, there are a lot of men in here." I think it was seeing some public displays of affection that cemented the realization in their minds, though.

So there we were, with a half-hour to kill, in a packed gay bar during the Project: Runway party.

The decor in this place looked like it was trying to pass as just another sports bar: TVs lining the walls, sports paraphernalia all over the place. It's only when you look closer that you notice the team banners were arranged much more aesthetically, the decorations carefully displayed in curio cabinets, the TVs (except for one ESPN-airer tucked away on mute in the corner) tuned to Bravo, the tendency for the waiters to bring out hot fudge sundaes rather than hot wings, that you realize that this place is catering to a different clientele than, say, Champs.

Although, really, not that different. Sure, the shows were different, but the crowd was reacting to and having a good time watching what was on the TV. It might take a really bad fashion choice or a catty comment from Heidi Klum to whip the crowd into a frenzy, but it worked just the same as if the Bulls scored a three-pointer or the Bears turned an interception around for a touchdown. We all love the same things, after all: sharing a thrilling experience with like-minded peers.

And, I gotta say, the enthusiasm was a little contagious. I won't deny feeling a little awkward the whole time I was there — I was pretty sufficiently out of my element, after all — but, even though I don't even pretend to get Project: Runway, I could still find myself appreciating how much everyone else was enjoying it.

We didn't get to see how the crowd took the show's results: at about ten of ten, we headed out and went back to the Green Mill, where we got in at the much more reasonable price of six dollars. But it was, at the least, an amusing experience. And really, what more can you ask?

Maybe I Inspired Him?

2007-10-10T14:41:02Z

A while ago (was it really a year and a half ago? Yikes!), I mused on what would happen if we held a new Constitutional Convention - if we had a gathering that sought to write a new Constitution for America.

Apparently, I wasn't the only one wondering about such a thing. Political analyst Larry Sabato just came out with a book, A More Perfect Constitution: 23 Proposals to Revitalize Our Constitution and Make America a Fairer Country, that explores just that idea. From the Amazon.com description:

The original framers fully expected the Constitution to be regularly revised by succeeding generations to reflect the country’s changing needs; yet, apart from the ten amendments in the Bill of Rights, it has only been amended 17 times in 220 years, and most of those amendments had minor ramifications. Today, partisan gridlock dominates Washington; 17 percent of voters elect a majority of senators; the presidency has assumed unprecedented and unintended powers; while politicians spend as much time campaigning for office as they do governing; and average Americans feel more and more disconnected from the political process so that half or more don’t vote in many elections—all of which would have horrified Jefferson and Madison.
A More Perfect Constitution presents twenty three creative and dynamic proposals to reinvigorate American governance at a time when such change is urgently needed.

This one's on hold for me at the library right now, and I look forward to reading Dr. Sabato's analysis.

The Devil's in the Details

2007-09-13T17:23:48Z

Pulled up my NewsGator RSS reader, and got this ominous little portent:

(Yeah, I hastily drew that circle in MS Paint...you wanna make somethin' of it?)

I always knew the news was evil, but it's another thing entirely to have it confirmed!

Shadow Government

2007-09-12T20:32:49Z

The world is always a little better when there's a new They Might Be Giants video out there.

Check out this one for "The Shadow Government" off their album The Else. It's just as quirky and catchy and fun as you'd expect a TMBG video to be:

The Trouble With CSI

2007-08-28T01:02:58Z

In the past year or two, we've taken to CSI, to the point where we've gone back and rented the DVD sets of the earlier seasons. This has been, generally speaking, a worthwhile pastime, but it has one very annoying side effect:

Because so many actors have passed through that show in the course of its seven or whatever years, I often find myself watching something and saying, "I know that person from somewhere..." only to inevitably discover that the place I know that person from is a guest appearance on CSI.

This isn't a bad thing, but I'm not used to not knowing where I know an actor from, and it's friggin' annoying that these one-episode actors keep flitting at the corner of my mind.

The Coming of the Ninja

2007-07-18T03:52:09Z

I think it was thirteen, fourteen years ago I first saw Ninja # (yes, that's pronounced "Ninja Number").

We were in high school then, and it seemed like all of us had some goofy little character we liked to draw, each with its own goofy little name: Spanky, Moopsie, Smarmy the Dwarf, the Shrunken Samurai...you get the idea (especially if the idea you get is that we were all big dorks). In many ways, Ninja # was just like the rest of them—a simple drawing, a script numeral two as the head (the tails of the digit serving as the bandanna knot that held on the ninja's mask), then a scribbled torso, arms, and legs, and a simple sword drawn in one hand.

But Ninja # wasn't like the rest of them, because Edmund had created him. And Edmund was always about one thing: the Big Idea. He was amazing, the stuff he would come up with. While the rest of us might sketch out some half-assed adolescent story, Edmund was writing epic space operas. The stuff Edmund would come up with would be manic and absurd and contagious and utterly brilliant. And more often than not, he and Jason—whose art could be just as manic and absurd and contagious and utterly brilliant, and which I've admired for more than fifteen years now—would team up to bring their visions to life.

(I remember—and still have—a comic the two of them did for a science class project. Batman & Robin and the Power Rangers and their classmates and science lessons—and, yes, Ninja #, in one of his first (if not THE first) comic book appearance—racing across Gotham City by way of Buffalo Grove to save the day, and teach us a thing or two along the way. Ah, I do so cherish that comic...)

The one project they always talked about, though, and the one project that never quite got there, was a Ninja # comic.

Fast-forward to a week or so ago. I'm working at the computer what an IM pops up from Jason: "It's finished."

The "It," obviously, was Ninja # #1. Written by Edmund, illustrated by Jason, they've pulled this comic together, working across 2,000 miles and more than a dozen years.

You can get your copies at Comic-Con International (how's that for a place to make your debut?), or you can order it from NinjaNumber.com. I'm looking forward to my copy arriving in the next few days, when I'll be able to give it a nice, solid review.

And after that, I figure it's only a matter of time before I'll be reading Smarmy the Dwarf #1.

Funny thought...

2007-04-24T16:24:27Z

Not so much "ha ha" funny, as "ooh, what's that smell?" funny...

It occurred to me just now (and others have probably had this realization their own selves) that conservatives tend to believe we're on the brink of self-destruction because we're moving away from the old ways, and liberals tend to believe we're on the brink of self-destruction because we're too reliant on the old ways.

There's a lesson in there somewhere...

Frequent Flier Miles Don't Apply

2007-04-13T20:35:29Z

Ha! Just got this from a friend at work:

1.        Go to www.google.com

2.        Click on "maps"

3.        Click on "get directions"

4.        Type "New York" in the first box (the "from" box)

5.        Type "London" in the second box (the "to" box)

6.        Click "Get Directions"

7.        Scroll down to step #23

How Do They Know?

2007-04-06T15:09:58Z

If you're not familiar with NASA's Image of the Day site, it's exactly what you'd think: Every day, they post a different image from NASA's archive. It's pretty cool, and there are often some really amazing images.

Yesterday's was definitely a cool one - the lift-off arc of the space shuttle Atlantis in 2001:

The thing that strikes me, though, is this line from the description of the image:

No species other than human can even comprehend the event.

I mean, okay. That is, in all likelihood, true. But it just strikes me as kind of odd that they would make such a statement.

Or maybe it's just me.

That's the Combined Weight of Both the Cats...

2007-04-04T02:01:24Z

I've decided I need to lose 20 pounds. Yeah.

The constantly sore back, the constantly sore feet, the fatigue, the low LDL (HDL? whichever is the good one) cholesterol levels...I'm pretty sure most of this is from carrying around that extra 20 pounds. A target weight of mid-170s is ideal for my body type, so that's what I'm aiming for.

I'm not exactly sure how I'm going to go about doing it yet, though. Exercise more, eat less, and all that jazz, obviously, but if my target is a pound a week...will that be enough? We'll see. So long as I either a) do something during my lunch hour, or b) do something after work (or c) both) every day, I should be okay... Yesterday I walked for pretty much the entire lunch hour, today I did DDR for about an hour. And I really should start making more regular use of that gym membership I'm paying for.

In an ideal world I'd use things like FitDay and the Presidential Challenge to track my progress, but I find them unaccomodating to my needs. A lot of the foods I eat aren't in FitDay, which means I'd have to take the time to enter them (and I still haven't figured out, if I make, say, a rice casserole, like I did tonight, how I'm supposed to track that in there), and I can't figure out what would be a good proxy for DDR in the Presidential Challenge, so until I do, that's no good for me either.

Anyhow...I started this week (Monday) at 197.6 pounds. I'll keep posting back with updated numbers. (Unless of course I don't, which, knowing my blogging habits, is the more likely possibility.)

Atheists Sure Must Be Popular...

2007-04-03T16:02:48Z

I've been a bad, bad blogger...

But I'm back, because I just saw this Newsweek poll:

Nine in 10 (91 percent) of American adults say they believe in God and almost as many (87 percent) say they identify with a specific religion.
...
Just 3 percent of the public self-identifies as atheist, suggesting that the term may carry some stigma. Still, the poll suggests that the public’s tolerance of this small minority has increased in recent years. Nearly half (47 percent) of the respondents felt the country is more accepting of atheists today that it used to be and slightly more (49 percent) reported personally knowing an atheist.

Look at those numbers. Three percent of Americans identify as atheists (with the remaining six percent who don't believe in God something else, I guess), but 49% of Americans "personally know an atheist." If all those numbers are true, that means that the three percent of atheists — nine million people — are personally known by one hundred forty-nine million people. Are those numbers really believable?

Maybe they are. Let's think... I'm going to assume that essentially all of those nine million atheists answered that they personally knew an atheist (seems reasonable, right?). That leaves 140 million non-atheists who personally know an atheist. We might also assume that some of the atheists whom the 149 mil say they know wouldn't self-identify as such — let's be really generous with the numbers and say that, for every self-identifying atheist, there's an "atheist" (as others claim them) who wouldn't self-identify. So that puts us at 140:6 as the relationship...which rounds down to approximately 23:1.

So every atheist in the country is personally known by 23 people? I guess I can accept that, but boy, do those numbers seem unlikely...

The Soundtrack of oMy Life

2006-11-17T00:50:12Z

Okay, so I've been sitting on this meme I'm stealing from Rob for a while now, as I got settled and sorted and the office set up and all that stuff. But I've finally got a few minutes to sit at the computer and work it out, so I'm having at. The setup:

Here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle/Random
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

Opening Credits: "Get Rhythm" - Johnny Cash. As a song to open things up with, I gotta say this's a pretty good one.

Waking Up: "Angry Again" - Megadeath. *sigh* Yup. Must be a workday.

First Day At School: "Scarborough Fair" - Queensryche. Interesting...

Falling In Love: "1000 Miles Per Hour" - OK Go. "Another long quiet night...Another long, quiet lonely night...Spend it at your side..." This might've worked better for the next question

Breaking Up: "Whispering Bells" - The Del Vikings. "Whispering bells...bring my baby...baby back to me..." Yeah, that works.

Prom: "I Can't Hide From My Mind" - They Might Be Giants. Odd, introspective, and out of place...just like me at prom! Okay, that works. :)

Life's OK: "Leave Her Johnny" - Lou Reed. I'm not too familiar with this one...a pirate shanty by Reed...but it seems to have a bit of a "walk away from your troubles" spirit to it, so I can accept that.

Mental Breakdown: "Christopher Columbus Digs the Jive" - John Drew Barrymore. Some spoken word beat talk about Columbus's exploration. "The only thing square about this world is the cats that live in it!" I dig, I dig...

Driving: "You're My Only Home" - The Magnetic Fields. ... Yeah, I can't really make this one fit.

Flashback: "Overweight" - Blue October. "I want to carry a piece of who I was, so when I hit the wall I really hit the wall."

Getting Back Together: "Totem" - Rush. A meditation of sorts on faith and whatnot. And what is getting back together but an exercise in "faith and whatnot"?

Wedding: Ha! "The Wedding Song" from The Corpse Bride. I have nothing I could possibly add.

Birth of Child: "Fix You Up" - Tegan & Sara. Another one I can't really tie in at all. Sorry.

Final Battle: "Break It Down Again" - Tears For Fears. Starts with a good, rousing marshall sound, so that's apropos.

Death Scene: "Stay With You" - John Legend. A very poignant juxtaposition...you get this going, and there's not a dry eye in the house.

Funeral Song: "Shadow Stabbing" - Cake. Awfully upbeat for a funeral...

Sex Scene: After the funeral? Um...okay... "Damn Good Times" - TMBG again. Heh. Yes it is. ;)

Dance Sequence: "I'm a Greedy Man" - James Brown. And that's some funky dancin' you'll get in the scene.

End Credits: "Happy Meal" - The Cardigans. "Arrange my books in order...Make up some nice stories to amuse you..." This could totally work as closing credits music; I approve!

Aaaaand...that about does it. Is this the type of movie you'd want to watch?

Nah, me neither. :P

chronicide @ 2006-11-14T12:58:00

2006-11-14T18:58:15Z

Heh.

Nellie pointed me to this one:

Go play; you know you want to. :)

Really?

2006-10-23T16:55:48Z

AdTunes.com tells us that Lady Sovereign's "Love Me or Hate Me" is TRL's #1 video, "the first music video by a British artist to ever reach the show's coveted top spot."

Has there really never been a British artist in TRL's #1 spot before? I find that hard to believe. Anyone have any information on this?

Dogging the Pigs

2006-10-23T14:47:30Z

Nothing new, really, but Library Dust takes a look at a recent law passed in California regarding protecting animals—a law that makes notable distinctions based on what the animal's relationship to a human is:

We divide our concern for animals along the lines of whether they are bound for our dinner plates or the couch at home at the end of their journey. The dog gets our concern: the pig must take its lumps.

Just a thinker, worth giving a minute's read.

chronicide @ 2006-10-21T08:31:00

2006-10-21T13:31:11Z

Some more intelligent blogging later, but for now a gem courtesy fellow comic-phile Rob Staeger:

The Nietzsche Family Circus

As the site describes itself: "The Nietzsche Family Circus pairs a randomized Family Circus cartoon with a randomized Friedrich Nietzsche quote."

Oh, go play. You know you want to!

I'm Official!

2006-09-05T15:26:31Z

Who can't love the official seal generator?

GM to Environment: Stop Depleting Yourself!

2006-05-24T15:42:37Z

As we all know, gas prices have been skyrocketing lately thanks in part to a decrease in supply (I know the economics of this is far, FAR more complex than that, but bear with me). At a time when it seems that the best approach by everyone is to reduce their usage of gas wherever possible, General Motors is taking a different approach by rewarding the most high-volume users of gas.

Dig:

Aiming to capitalize on consumer angst about the high cost of gasoline, General Motors Corp. on Tuesday said it would cap pump prices at $1.99 for customers in California and Florida who buy certain vehicles by July 5.
...
The offer is good for 2006 and 2007 model year vehicles. In California, eligible vehicles are the Chevrolet Tahoe and Suburban sport utility vehicles and Impala and Monte Carlo sedans; the GMC Yukon and Yukon XL SUVs; the Hummer H2 and H3 SUVs; the Cadillac SRX SUV; and the Pontiac Grand Prix and Buick LaCrosse sedans. In Florida, eligible vehicles are the Impala, Monte Carlo, Grand Prix and LaCrosse.

So there you have it. If you've got a new car that gets about 18 miles to the gallon, you shouldn't have to pay as much for gas as those silly people who are trying to conserve the stuff by buying cars that get 30+ MPG. It's only reasonable, really; this is sure to help cut down gas prices and save the environment. ...In Bizarro World!

The New Continental Congress

2006-05-23T22:03:19Z

One of the side-effects of growing up in a family that made a tradition of watching the movie of the musical 1776 every year is that I've come to have a strong respect for the Continental Congress, that body of men from across the colonies gathered on their own initiative to respond to the acts of England on the people of proto-America, and to figure out what kind of cohesive whole—if any—this continent would be. Of course, they eventually evolved into a more typical political body (that would be today's Congress, in case you're having trouble keeping up), but once upon a time it was the gathering of the best minds in each of they colonies/states, given carte blanche, and armed only with their own ideals and the basics of parliamentary procedure, to figure out just what we were going to be.

That's the idea that intrigues me most about the gathering. It was (if you'll allow me to mix American epochs) the Wild West of our government; a terain where there were few hard-'n'-fast rules, and participants were just as likely to kill each other as co-draft a law. And I often wonder, what if such a thing were to happen today (minus, ideally, the "kill each other" part)? What if the greatest minds of our age got together and tried to figure out what we were going to be next? No obligation to hew to the traditions of the Founding Fathers, no being mired in 230 years of What's Gone Before. Who would be there? What would they come up with? I'm quite sure I don't know, but I think it would be amazing to see what it might become.

For now, let's put a question out there: Who do you think should/would attend this hypothetical new Congress? I'll likely come up with a few names later, but I'm curious what other people think. So go "Kill some time" and let me know what you think, or launch a mini-meme and post it on your own blog.

Waaaaait...Where am I?

2006-04-25T19:41:09Z

C'mon, tell me I'm not sexier than Ed Begley Jr....

Who Are the World's Sexiest Vegetarians?

As always, these "world's sexiest" things are biased towards celebrity-types. :P

Keeping Myself Honest

2006-03-12T16:01:04Z

I just learned about FitDay.com, a website which allows you to track your food intake and activity, um, output each day to see how your fitness level looks. And, to keep myself honest, I've made it public and will (eventually, probably) permalink to it on my blog so it'll always be there, staring me in the face.

Wanna see how I'm doing? Check out my public journal. As you can see (if you happen to be looking at it right now, I've yet to actually eat or do anything today. But that's okay! The day is still young.

And now...time to do something that can go on my journal: I'm going to eat breakfast!

Two Great Tastes...Yadda Yadda Yadda

2006-03-12T15:20:59Z

Props go to fellow Captain Comics denizen Rob Staeger for bringing this to my attention, and now I share it with you: Behold Classical Bytes, easily-affordable CDs that introduce listeners to works by various classical composers.

"But Alan," you protest, "that's just one great taste. What's the other one you make mention of in your title?" And the answer is: comics! You see, for each of these CDs, there is a cover by an "indy" comics artist. How cool is that?

I know. Very.

(That was going to be "I know: Very.", but I decided that three statement-colon-statement phrases in three paragraphs was a bit much. Of course, now I've put it out there anyway, so the point is kind of moot, isn't it?)